Mike Thunder
THE THIN PURPLE LINE
STATUS: NOTHING TO REPORT
SECTION · ABOUT

ABOUT MIKE THUNDER

Friends and neighbors, I'm Mike Thunder — and depending on who you ask, the greatest security guard who ever clipped on a badge, and a tie.

Over decades in security I've come across some of the craziest and downright appalling "sincidents" you'll ever hear about. Retail floors, loss prevention, the alarm response in a company patrol car in the last place you wanted to visit, the long walk around a dark building at 3 a.m. — I've worked it, and I've written it down.

Consider this blog my memoirs: how true greatness handles the everyday, the mundane, the dangerous and the extraordinary, all while staying cool as a cucumber and occasionally giving the bad guys what's coming to 'em. I might give the occasional squeeze of my own horn, but I've earned that right. Don't believe me? Read the logs and see for yourself.

Truth is optional, humor is mandatory.— MIKE THUNDER, LOG #0001

So grab a donut, save one for me, and be regaled with tales from behind the thin purple line from an insider's point of view. I guarantee a good time you don't even have to call for. You're welcome.

PERSONNEL FILE — FORM TPL-02CONFIDENTIAL
NAMEMIKE THUNDER
POSITIONSECURITY LEGEND
YEARS OF SERVICELIFETIME
PRIOR POSTINGEVERYTHING
COMMENDATIONGREATEST SECURITY GUARD, EVER
ENTRIES ON FILE007
REMARKSCommendation self-issued. Maintains an unbroken record of nothing to report. Keeps a full donut box on hand at all times.
ON DUTY
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